Joey makes quite the Santa

Christmas is not that big of a deal in Togo. People celebrate it, but nothing like back home. But the American International School, where I work, likes to infuse bits of U.S. culture into the environment. And what's Christmas for little ones without Santa?

Pretty Crappy, that's what.

The original Santa Clause bailed at the last minute. The director asked me the day before Santa's scheduled appearance if Joey would be willing to play the part.

What the director didn't know is that Mr. Joseph never turns down the opportunity to be in costume. Ever.

So it was her lucky day.

A few things to note about these pictures of Santa Joey:

1. The Santa suit was WAY too short for him. We all assumed this would be the case, so he came prepared with tall black socks. This worked to cover his legs when he was standing, but when he sat down you could see a strip of hairy-man-leg above his knee socks. If I didn't know better I might have thought he was of the creepy Santa sorts ;)

2. We couldn't get the pillow to stay on his stomach. It kept creeping up, making him look like a skinny santa with big boobs.

3. The morning assemblies are held under a Paillote, or little Tiki hut type thing. "Santa" had to bend down in order to come under and say hello to the kids. You'll see from the pictures that their initial ecstatic expressions turned wide-eyed as they looked up at him. As one little one said in a hushed voice: "I didn't know Santa was so tall."

4. Before that he rang that huge bell you see in the photos as he came down the hall. The kids were screaming their little heads off. Joey later told me that he was actually a little nervous about the whole thing: "I could see in their eyes that they actually thought I was Santa Clause."

5. Joey missed the best part of the morning when he was in hiding. Before Santa came, the little ones did some traditional African dancing for the school. You'll see the kids in a line and then each one stood in a circle drawn with chalk on the ground to do this funny little dance with their hips. It was a riot. I wish I had video to share.

We miss all of you very much during this holiday season. Enjoy this little tid-bit of the holidays in Togo!

Bet you Didn't Know!: This Week's Top 5

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a week-long training with an NGO on grant writing.

There was an interesting group of people in attendance: a Polish woman who heads the regional NGO office here, two German men from the International office, a Dutch woman who lives in Northern Ghana and heads up a childhood disability program, an Ethiopian eye surgeon who lives in Guinea and leads an eye care program, a Nigerian man working on self-help programs for women, an a man from Niger doing disability prevention work.

I wanted to share a few little nuggets from the week that you might find interesting:

V. There is such a thing as "Professional Crier" in West Africa. They are hired to attend the huge funeral celebrations that are culturally imperative here. Families will spend their life savings on throwing the biggest, most lavish funeral they can afford to honor those who've passed. In addition to live music, drinks, food, and gifts for guests, particularly well-off families will hire people to cry loudly at the burial. Those who can produce tears as well as hysterics are in very high demand.

IV. There's a belief among pregnant women in Northern Ghana that they can not eat eggs, as eggs are another creature's baby. Per their voodoo beliefs, if they eat eggs, some harm will be done to their own fetus. This belief has caused many a problems for non-profits who've come in preaching the importance of eating enough essential fats and proteins during pregnancy and saying there's a perfect solution for poor women in villages: eggs.

III. Similarly, if a child is born with a disability in Ghana, Togo, Benin and Burkina Faso, it's largely thought that the mother is to blame. She must have done something wrong to deserve the punishment of bearing a disabled child. These babies are hidden away from society (including doctors) and, in extreme cases, left to die. So when researching country data on disabilities, consider questioning Togo's report that only 3% of the population has any disabilities.

II. Throughout Central Africa, there is only 1 eye specialist for every 510,000 people. There's a neat program in Guinea that is trying to build up Africa's base of medical specialists in this field. It's touted as the only medical school in many surrounding countries to have things as basic as state of the art microscopes (3 of them) and a laser to actually do the eye surgeries. With the help of funding, they offer the chance to gain 2 years of specialty training in exchange for giving 4 years to a rural community in Africa.

I. There isn't a single doctor in all of Togo who can perform the surgery that heals vaginal fistulas. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I highly recommend watching A Walk to Beautiful. Once you see this documentary (YouTube or NetFlix), you'll understand how terrible this is.

It was a really neat week. Maybe someday I'll get to see some of these programs in remote Ghana or Niger in person.

Prez's Main Lady Friend

The other night I accompanied Joey to a work dinner. It was a "casual" event, extended to all US Officers via the Ambassador, at her good friend's house in Lome. This friend just so happens to be a leading member of the opposition party here, and the likely candidate for Mayor. "Casual" is in quotation marks on purpose, just in case you didn't catch that.

I ended up sitting next to a Togolese woman at dinner who I'd been introduced to by name only. Based on the bling dripping from her neck and hands, I assumed she was the wife of a wealthy businessman. Mostly I was just trying to act normal while sitting at a dinner table with top government employees who were all being "casual" with each other.

Somehow manis, pedis and massages came up amongst the women and I mentioned a massage place down the street where you can get an hour and a half massage for $20. !!! Bling-Woman and the host's wife immediately perked up and started asking specifics: Where is said parlor? What does it look like inside? Is it classy? Are the massage rooms private? What kind of clientele does it have? Who's the masseuse? What is his name? What is his last name?

I was confused by the sternness of their tone, as is typical in many of my conversations with people here, because I lack the cultural cues I took for granted back home. I was equally clueless when Joey kept mentioning to the woman that she should call me to join me the next time I get a massage. It was weird.

I am typically the one who doesn't miss the meaning behind a single glance. But here I'm dumbfounded by an interrogation. It's unsettling to me and I find myself less confident in social situations.

The truth came out about the questions and who this woman was in the car on the way home. Turns out, Bling Woman was the President's Main Woman. Despite his many, many mistresses, she is the one the locals call "Mrs." and appears to be as close to a wife as this guy will ever have.

Obviously I spent all evening sitting next to the friggin' President's wife and had no idea.
It is flabbergasting how foreign and inaccessible this place is at times. How is that possible in this day and age with information galore that I've never seen a single picture of this woman, or heard of her? How can I have lived in a country for almost 6 months and be so unaware of this kind of thing?

Yet it happens to me all the time. This kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME. That fact is completely bizarre to me. I read the local news when I can get it, slim pickin's that it is. I listen to Joey's work-talk and know some of the unclassified embassy happenings. I've done as much homework on this country as any normal expat can do.

But information is hard to come by. Top officials make no bones about the fact that they have no obligation to explain themselves or their lives to anyone. They own the press. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that there's so little said about the inner workings of this country. But it does. There aren't many countries left in the world that remain so foreign.

I've been so curious since that evening. What is that woman's life like? How did she meet the President? How does she handle his 16 other woman? And even more kids? Is she with him for the money? Is it family influence? Power? Or does she love him? She seemed smart and articulate - does she feel passionately about her country's dire situation? Does she support the President in all he does to his face, or does she challenge him? Would we have anything in common?

I honestly can't begin to fathom the answers to the above.

I've never been so clueless. I take back my "WTF? face" to Joey a million times over for his valiant attempts to pimp me off on the President's Lady. I should have given her my number, per his many hints. ;)